In United States v. Gangapersad, 2022 WL 17585850 (E.D.N.Y. Dec. 12, 2022), the court imposed a sentence on a defendant convicted of making false statements to FBI agents concerning a shooting (specifically, whether she indeed witnessed said shooting).
Putting aside the court’s articulation and application of the black-letter law, the court added this seasonally-appropriate nugget:
The law will not give Defendant a free pass: she made the fateful call that led to the attack, she witnessed the attack, she covered up the attack, and she lied about the attack. She witnessed her life partner shoot an innocent man in the back because that man had the temerity to wear a jolly red suit while admiring her outdoor holiday decorations two weeks before Christmas. She then repeatedly lied to the FBI about what she saw. She should not be shocked to find nothing beyond a lump of coal in her Christmas stocking. Santa Claus distinguishes actions between naughty and nice. This Judge is not Santa Claus. This Court finds Defendant’s actions on that fateful day went well beyond the mythical realm of naughty or nice: in this real world, they were cowardly, craven, and criminal.
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate.